Love that Paula Jones

CACN, Fall, 1997 Love that Paula Jones

My favorite prayer topic is the Paula Jones case. (I have to admit, it does appeal to my baser instincts.) The front page bi-line of the Washington Times (15 Oct.) was all about the President of the United States’s membrum virile and a certain “distinguishing characteristic” thereof. It says, “PAULA JONES’ AFFIDAVIT DESCRIBES CURVATURE OF THE ORGAN, WHICH MAY BE CAUSED BY CHRONIC ‘PEYRONIE’S DISEASE.’” I was stimulated to pray more.

But I just wasn’t sure how to pray a righteous prayer. I’m sure that by the time you read this you will have already heard thousands of jokes about such a prurient topic. In the interest of time, I simply pray that the President remains bent out of shape so that he will either leave office or be forced by the judge to get another examination by the plaintiffs. (Although I try to avoid conspiracy theorizing, I am incorrigibly suspicious about that “knee” injury and hospitalization last spring.)

And then the Lord began to answer my prayer in ways past finding out! Just nine days later there came forth yet another woman’s testimony. Dolly Kyle Browning, 49, has been subpoenaed by Jones’s lawyers. In an interview with the Washington Times, she “intimated that if asked during a deposition under oath she would confirm what Mrs. Jones accurately described the ‘distinguishing characteristic’ of the president’s genitals.”

Hello Dolly!

She is a Dallas lawyer who grew up with Slick Willie and wrote a novel called Purposes of the Heart about a romance involving a Southern governor who becomes president. The novel is marketed on the internet (www.hellodolly.com). We look forward to her testimony, praying without ceasing.